On 13th March 2021, during a training course on Ubuntu Coaching for Coaches, designed and delivered by Coach Nobantu Mpotulo MCC, Nobantu took us through an exercise on being see. Nobantu has developed a powerful Ubuntu Coaching model called RASEA. It is predicated on profound presence and connecting authentically to others as they are. RASEA stands for Receiving; Appreciating; (Acknowledging); Summarising; Evoking (Evocations); Asking (+Acting).
As part of the Ubuntu Coaching framework, Nobantu emphasised the need to See More of the other, or the client. In the group session, teams worked with the ability to ‘see’ others as they are. This is the meaning of the isiZulu greeting when we meet someone new, or an acquaintance we have not seen for some time. We say out loud “Sawubona!”. This literally means “I see you”. Seeing others as they present themselves is a great precursor to then hear them as they engage with us in whatever form or language they use. It starts with seeing them. In the personal reflections after this session, I was journaling about it and came up with a new the concept of what happens when we are truly SEEN from an ubuntu perspective.
Does everyone yearn to be seen, or want to be seen by others? Are we hard-wired to want to be seen? How about being heard? Is it natural to human beings to desire being seen and heard? Is it inherently part of human nature to desire this connection? To be really seen as we are is a gift by those that see us, to them and to our connection with them. Seeing others enriches the relationship of the seen and the one seeing. It also invites us to see each other. The next stage of seeing others is tuning-in to them and their energy as they are.
SEEN here means: S – Safety; E – Engagement; E – Embrace, and N – Nurture.
The SEEN Model
Safety – Engagement – Embrace – Nurture
| SAFETY Safety leads to trust and open engagement. The Ubuntu Coach engages safely to create the sacred container where the client feels safe enough to explore whatever they are brining into the coaching engagement… safely connecting. | ENGAGEMENT Ubuntu Coaches seek to connect with their clients in a way that enables them to see each other. This is done through genuine engagement. Great engagement enables the coach to see and hear the client clearly and better with no judgement. |
| EMBRACE Embracing others stems from both seeing and hearing them as they express themselves. Embracing others as they are is profound when we acknowledge and connect with them authentically. The idea here is to notice our filters. It is not a physical embrace. It is a genuine acceptance and connection that facilitates seeing and hearing each other deeply… as we are. | NURTURE The act of seeing another as they are and hearing them expressing themselves freely is nurturing. When we greet consciously, we nurture and nourish the connections and relationships we have with others. When this is accompanied by genuinely seeing and hearing them as they present themselves in their unique ways, the relationship matures greatly. |
Being SEEN is grounded in the ability of the Ubuntu Coach to help the client feel safe, held, protected, and nurtured.
Safely: Safety leads to trust and open engagement. The Ubuntu Coach engages safely to create the sacred container where the client feels safe enough to explore whatever they are brining into the coaching engagement… safely connecting.
Engaged: Ubuntu Coaches seek to connect with their clients in a way that enables them to see each other. This is done through genuine engagement. Great engagement enables the coach to see and hear the client clearly and better with no judgement.
Embraced: Embracing others stems from both seeing and hearing them as they express themselves. Embracing others as they are is profound when we acknowledge and connect with them authentically. The idea here is to notice our filters. It is not a physical embrace. It is a genuine acceptance and connection that facilitates seeing and hearing each other deeply… as we are.
Nurtured: The act of seeing another as they are and hearing them expressing themselves freely is nurturing. When we greet consciously, we nurture and nourish the connections and relationships we have with others. When this is accompanied by genuinely seeing and hearing them as they present themselves in their unique ways, the relationship matures greatly.
In human relationships, few things as are affirming, assuring, and nurturing of our relationships with others as their ability to notice our roles, gifts and talents, as their ability to really see and hear us as we are. This makes greeting so much more powerful as a process and action to ignite genuine human connection that leads to fulfilling relationships.
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